In my life, I’ve become familiar with the feeling of wanting (needing, craving, dying for) a fresh start. Sometimes during a weird, boring, or challenging day, I wash my face and (if possible) change my outfit as a way to reset myself and move past the drab feeling. If only the solution for curing the lulls in my life were as easily accessible! Sometimes you can make a change easily, but sometimes you have to work and wait for it to come.
As a teen listening to Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide”, I didn’t fully understand what Stevie Nicks meant when she sang, Can I handle the seasons of my life? It was not until I hit my early twenties that I began to know what this really means. Life can change dramatically. Particularly with regards to my adult life, I’ve come to look at the periods I live through as “seasons.” It’s a comforting idea, during times of struggle, to believe that things will eventually (or suddenly) change. Just like seasons. We wait months for the heat to pass, we play and sweat and toil under the sun seven days a week, and then suddenly, as if we didn’t know it was coming, we find ourselves seeking shelter from the rain. The days of summer, which felt never-ending and relentless… became the days of fall, cool and reserved.
And so with my life… I am living in quite a different season of my life right now. As opposed to my wild, carefree, somewhat lavish and extreme early 20’s, my mid- and late-twenties are marked by intense economic/career struggles. Ever since finishing law school in 2013, my life has been flipped upside down. Now it’s about survival. But I think that’s ok. The best thing about Now is that I’m really learning how to be strong, and how to be happy, even during challenging times.
I’ve started this blog because I just needed to let go of the old one I’ve kept since 2010. I think it’s an identity thing. I just feel older and wiser now. I believe that growing up doesn’t stop, and that it’s a choice one makes throughout their entire life. And so I wanted a new way to document my growth from this point onward. I want a definite marker to indicate HERE IS WHERE IT BEGINS AGAIN.